Oh, ma petite, you are growing gargantuan." i looked at him and it was not a friendly look. "never tease a woman about her weight, jean-claude. at least not an american twentieth-century one." he spread his hands wide. "my deepest apologies." "when you apologize, try not to smile at the same time. it ruins the effect.
The continual whine of lamenting the burden of taxes, however successfully it may be practiced in mixed governments, is inconsistent with the sense and spirit of a republic. If taxes are necessary, they are of course advantageous, but if they require an apology, the apology itself implies an impeachment. Why, then, is man imposed upon, or why does he impose upon himself?
Men do what is called a good action, as some piece of courage or charity, much as they would pay a fine in expiation of daily non-appearance on parade. Their works are done as an apology or extenuation of their living in the world. I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is not an apology, but a life.
There is no country in which so absolute a homage is paid to wealth. In america there is a touch of shame when a man exhibits theevidences of large property, as if after all it needed apology. But the englishman has pure pride in his wealth, and esteems it a final certificate. A coarse logic rules throughout all english souls: if you have merit, can you not show it by your good clothes and coach and horses?
Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of how much it has let pass out of its control. It is a small gesture, but one that can be very effective - especially in a large crowd. So fart, and if you must, fart often. But always fart without apology. Fart for freedom, fart for liberty - and fart proudly.