Oh, ma petite, you are growing gargantuan." i looked at him and it was not a friendly look. "never tease a woman about her weight, jean-claude. at least not an american twentieth-century one." he spread his hands wide. "my deepest apologies." "when you apologize, try not to smile at the same time. it ruins the effect.
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The truth is that nobody is owed an apology for anything. Apologies are lovely when they happen. But they change nothing. They do not reverse actions or correct damage. They are merely nice to hear.
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I have many regrets, and i'm sure everyone does. The stupid things you do, you regret... If you have any sense, and if you don't regret them, maybe you're stupid.
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So far there has been no philosopher in whose hands philosophy has not grown into an apology for knowledge; on this point, at least, every one is an optimist, that the greatest usefulness must be ascribed to knowledge. they are all tyrannized over by logic, and this is optimism in its essence.
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The continual whine of lamenting the burden of taxes, however successfully it may be practiced in mixed governments, is inconsistent with the sense and spirit of a republic. If taxes are necessary, they are of course advantageous, but if they require an apology, the apology itself implies an impeachment. Why, then, is man imposed upon, or why does he impose upon himself?
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Men do what is called a good action, as some piece of courage or charity, much as they would pay a fine in expiation of daily non-appearance on parade. Their works are done as an apology or extenuation of their living in the world. I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is not an apology, but a life.
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Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of his way, but must accept his lot calmly if they even roll a few more upon it.
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I know some people might think it odd - unworthy even - for me to have written a cookbook, but i make no apologies. The u.S. Poet laureate billy collins thought i had demeaned myself by writing poetry for hallmark cards, but i am the people's poet so i write for the people.
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There is no country in which so absolute a homage is paid to wealth. In america there is a touch of shame when a man exhibits theevidences of large property, as if after all it needed apology. But the englishman has pure pride in his wealth, and esteems it a final certificate. A coarse logic rules throughout all english souls: if you have merit, can you not show it by your good clothes and coach and horses?
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Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of how much it has let pass out of its control. It is a small gesture, but one that can be very effective - especially in a large crowd. So fart, and if you must, fart often. But always fart without apology. Fart for freedom, fart for liberty - and fart proudly.
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I'm pretty sure lurking in a dark alley to mug me with your apology isn't the usual way to go about saying you're sorry. But i didn't read that mars-venus book, so who knows.
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Eat less than you think you want, eat with your intelligence, not your stomach. Never get up from the table with an inward, silent apology for being a pig.
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