I love to sing, and i love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
Funny Music Scotch Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
I drink coffee with my right hand, and i smoke with my left. But i talk with both hands.
Coffee Hands Drink Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
When i was a boy the dead sea was only sick.
Funny Witty Humorous Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
It's one of the old show business axioms. No matter how successful you've been, there's always a younger and sexier seal coming along.
Success Matter Shows Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
How can i die? I'm booked.
Funny Humor Age Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
If you were married to marilyn monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
Girl Ugly Married Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
I get a standing ovation just standing
Inspiration Ovation Standing Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn't started yet.
Marriage Wedding Couple Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
When i wasn't working, i put the blame directly where it belonged - i blamed my agent. When i didn't have an agent, i spent time looking for a new agent so i would have somebody to blame.
Funny Agents Blame Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
Funny Humor Good Woman Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
People are always asking me when i'm going to retire. Why should i? I've got it two ways - i'm still making movies, and i'm a senior citizen, so i can see myself at half price.
Senior Two People Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
Sex Trying Rope Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
Money is the root of all evil.' then we hear, 'a fool and his money are soon parted.' what are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'a wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and i won't tell them.
Wise Men Talking Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
I would read playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.
Witty Glasses Playboy Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
Sex is the universal language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to.
Funny Sex Humorous Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now i don't have to respect anybody.
Happy Birthday Elders Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
If i get big laughs, i'm a comedian. If i get little laughs, i'm a humorist. If i get no laughs, i'm a singer.
Laughing Comedian Littles Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... Or a bad woman.
Drinking Good Woman Cuban Cigars Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
Much later in life, though, gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
Funny Humorous Later In Life Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
When i was young i was called a rugged individualist. When i was in my fifties i was considered eccentric. Here i am doing and saying the same things i did then and i'm labeled senile.
Funny Here I Am Age Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
I was always taught to respect my elders and i've now reached the age when i don't have anybody to respect.
Age Taught Aging Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
Long Enough Ifs Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Funny Happy Birthday Humor Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
I spent a year in that town, one sunday.
Funny Life Witty Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
My major contribution to the format was to suggest that i be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine; i know it was because i originally stole it from thornton wilder's play our town.
Play Ideas Plot Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
I look better, feel better, make love better and i'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
Feel Better Love Is Making Love Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
Funny Travel Children Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
Caring Joy Towns Month Calendar with this Quote Printable Folded Card Cursive Handwriting Worksheets Quote of the day Bulletin Board Posters
