The deeper reality is that im not sure if what i do is real. I usually believe that im certain about how i feel, but that seems naive. How do we know how we feel?There is almost certainly a constructed schism between (a) how i feel, and (b) how i think i feel. Theres probably a third level, toohow i want to think i feel.
England shouldn't have the real freedom of vote and we shouldn't either. Because as [james madison] put it, one of the primary goals of government was to protect the minority of the opulent against the majority, to make sure the opulent maintain their rights. The constitutional system was structured to ensure that outcome.
And my fear of failure has been lifelong and deep. If you are what you do- and i think my parents may have accidentally given me this idea- and you do poorly, what then? Its over; youre wiped out. All those prophecies you heard in the dark have come true, and people can see the real you, see what a schmendrick you are, what a fraud.
The thief steals from himself. The swindler swindles himself. For the real price is knowledge and virtue, whereof wealth and credit are signs. These signs, like paper money, may be counterfeited or stolen, but that which they represent, namely, knowledge and virtue, cannot be counterfeited or stolen.
But, especially in love, only counterfeit emotions exist nowadays. We have all been taught to mistrust everybody emotionally, from parents downwards, or upwards. Dont trust anybody with your real emotions: if youve got any: that is the slogan of today. Trust them with your money, even, but never with your feelings. They are bound to trample on them.
I yearn for the darkness. I pray for death. Real death. If i thought that in death i would meet the people i've known in life i don't know what i'd do. That would be the ultimate horror. The ultimate despair. If i had to meet my mother again and start all of that all over, only this time without the prospect of death to look forward to? Well. That would be the final nightmare. Kafka on wheels.
The question of real, lasting world peace concerns human beings, so basic human feelings are also at its roots. Through inner peace, genuine world peace can be achieved. In this the importance of individual responsibility is quite clear; an atmosphere of peace must first be created within ourselves, then gradually expanded to include our families, our communities, and ultimately the whole planet.