Imagine any problem you have to be a huge, locked door standing in front of you. now see yourself taking a golden key out of your pocket. you brought the key here with you when you arrived on this planet, but you sometimes forget to use it. see yourself putting it into the keyhole, then watch the door swing open. on the key are inscribed these words, "unconditional love."
If i really want to improve my situation, i can work on the one thing over which i have control-myself. i can stop trying to shape up my wife and can work on my own weaknesses. i can focus an being a great marriage partner, a source of unconditional love and support. hopefully, my wife will feel the power of proactive example and respond in kind. but, whether she does or doesn't, the most positive way i can influence my situation is to work on myself, on my being.
Rather than accepting that we are the loving beings that he created, we have arrogantly thought that we could create ourselves, and then create god. because we are angry and judgmental, we have projected those characteristics onto him. we have made up a god in our image. but god remains who he is and always has been: the energy, the thought of unconditional love.